Yes, #dietculture matters to sex bloggers too. Because...I feel like for many of my (mostly female) readers or friends, even in real life, their issues with their body image are a serious obstacle that prevents them to live their sex life to the fullest.
Who has never heard a woman say:
"Me? Sex? Look, I'm too fat for even letting my boyfriend see me naked!"
(to their partner while the atmosphere should be sexy) "Switch off the lights, I feel uncomfortable!"
"He will never ever want to have sex with me anymore since I gained so much weight!"
All those statements don't take into account what “sex” truly means. Such a powerful word, so widely used, but too often poorly understood!
Sex is about consent, communication, respecting each other's boundaries. And enjoying it comes from a deep connection with the other person, mixed with EVERY BODY's natural ability to give and receive pleasure.
I would personally describe seduction and sensuality like my lover subtly testing all of the sensitive nerve endings in my body, as if he was playing a harp.
Unfortunately, mainstream media have sent way different messages to women since forever: since we're little girls, we’re told that we need to be pretty in order for a man to look our way and, perhaps, want to make contact with us.
Cinderella is beautiful, that's why the Prince wants to marry her. The Evil Queen wants to be "the prettiest of 'em all", not the smartest or perhaps the most powerful.
But, what's prettiness? Again, we are told that there's a strict standard that defines beauty, and thinness is a huge part of it. If we don't meet those requirements, we're brought to think that no man would ever desire to have sex with us.
Is it like plus-size women aren't able to achieve orgasms, to pleasure their partners, or to create deep connections? Haven't they got a clitoris, a G-spot and a vagina like other women?
Of course they have. So, why are they told that they can’t enjoy sex, seduction and partner play?
Please don't get fooled by what the diet industry wants you to think: no matter how many times you were rejected by boys in high school in favor of thinner, prettier girls. If a guy can't love you just the way you are, then they don't deserve you.
Love and sex are not a matter of physical appearance, PERIOD.
Instead, there's a thing that can seriously mess up with your libido and sexual wellness: not having an healthy and balanced nutrition.
Lack of the essential nutrients you need may lead to hormonal imbalances: have you ever heard that women who are underweight or fighting an eating disorder often have extremely light periods? This can be dangerous for your sexual energy, too!
What you truly can do to improve your sexual confidence and your sex life, is learning to know your body better, through masturbation or playing with a partner.
Learn to be honest about your likes and dislikes, confess him your sexual fantasies and encourage him to do the same with you.
If you still feel like you need more confidence about your body and its innate sensuality, you can always wear lingerie, a spicy perfume or make-up.
But do it for yourself, and not to conform to society’s beauty standards: you will be amazed at how attractive he will find you, in spite of that number on your scale!
Most importantly, find a partner with whom you can create trust, connection and deep communication (or create them with the lover you already have): you'll get the best sex of your life, regardless of your body shape and size!
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