This week's #SoSS post of mine starts with an interesting article by RomanticIsa that really got me thinking:
There is no such thing as foreplay: https://isabellelauren.com/foreplay/
She says, "Foreplay is a misogynistic concept. Foreplay refers to the sexual actions that precedes traditional, cis-heteronormative PIV sex. Why shouldn’t we call ALL sexual actions sex? Why is the PIV event considered to be the only important sex act?"
If you only define sex as a "penis in vagina" act you are missing out on women's orgasms that mostly happen while she has her pussy licked or fingered (or for me, stimulated with a Satisfyer toy!).
Then, I could read more about my important #SoSS topic at Coffee and Kink's blog, in this informative and well-written post:
"There is no such thing as this thing called ‘foreplay,’ because there are a million things under this amazing, huge umbrella that we call ‘sex.’ ", she says.
Not everyone has penis-in-vagina sex simply because not everyone is cis and hetero, and relegating all other sexual activities to the term "foreplay" is simply not inclusive and doesn't embrace all the diversity we can, luckily, find in sex.
From the other side, I'm deeply intrigued by another point of view I can see in this post by Morag on her Moist Musings blog, Thoughts on Foreplay:
Women are constantly told that they need "more foreplay" to have fulfilling sex, but is this really true? We don't always ask for the same thing in the bedroom: while sometimes we will be glad to indulge in a romantic bubble bath or soy candle massage before actual intercourse, other times all we want is a quickie or a rough BDSM session!
A quick note of mine: I'm convinced this stereotypical image of the woman needing "foreplay", i.e. romance and massages, before actual intercourse, comes from the even older adage that says "women do not like sex, men are horny beasts that force women into it". From this point of view, foreplay has been for ages a sort of "candy-coating" that should embellish sex to the eyes of shy, pure women. Just my two cents and sorry, Morag, for digressing from the topic of your article!
We may need or not need foreplay or even deny its existence, but there's a thing BDSM lovers can't skip for their physical and emotional well-being: the aftercare. I enjoyed this informative guide by Floss #ProudToBeKinky, suitable for both couples and single people:
A Switchy Girl's Guide To Aftercare:
At this point I can only ask my readers to join the discussion. What do you think about foreplay? Can its concept be defined misogynistic or at least non-inclusive? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!