This week I decided to take part in the TMI Tuesday blogging meme and to answer their questions about how much space we need for ourselves in a relationship. Here we go:
1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love? a. Absolutely b. For the most part c. Somewhat d. Not really e. Not at all
The truth is…I have never thought much about this. In my relationship destiny has never played a bigger role than the connection we were creating on our own between us so, I would say the most important thing in love for us has been the human work put into creating a connection, building a relationship based on honesty and trust, and the strength required to make this whole thing work even from a distance since we live in separate cities. I’m sure the destiny alone would not have brought us where we are at the moment. So I would answer, d. Not really.
2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.
False. Adjusting our sexual likes and dislikes to make our sexual encounters work for both doesn’t mean changing them. I would be available to try something I am not really into if my Daddy has a strong desire to try it together, but then if I don’t like it at all it becomes one of my non negotiable hard limits. From the other side Daddy too has his own hard limits that I would never infringe, since respect and consensuality are two basic values in our relationship. If there’s something sexual that one of us likes but the other one doesn’t, we just watch porn about it (together or alone)or fantasize about it without feeling pressured to do it in reality. Again, consensuality means everything to us when it comes to sex.
3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do? a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is. b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests. c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations. d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling. e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.
I’m not one of those girlfriends who stay always glued to their OH, becoming a shadow to them. Being in a long distance relationship we both are used to have plenty of “me-time” and time to chill with our friends without the presence of the loved one.
Due to our jobs, there are times when we only can visit for short periods of time (e.g. we can only be together a weekend every month): in this case the scene pictured in this question usually doesn’t happen at all: when we are separated we go out separately with our local friends, and when we can be together we try to spend the most time we can together, but only for us two.
Anyway it has happened to me to be able to live together with Daddy for 5-6 months and I have gone out several times with his friends I know too: I’ll answer d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling. Also, I’d let him time to chill with his friends without feeling like he must stay glued to me: he already does so much to keep our LDR going.
4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
a. Yes – I‘ve read it/them from A to Z. b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them. c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any. d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look – but I haven’t read any. e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking. f. No – I don’t know she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.
I’ll answer e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking because I feel doing otherwise would be a severe violation of the trust our relationship runs on. I expect him to do the same and I’m sure he will do.
We have no secrets between us so there’s no need to spy each other. Then if he wants to share with me parts of his personal letters that’s another case and the only acceptable in my opinion.
5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?
No, but I had my parents do it several times when I was younger and they would continue to do it if technology wouldn’t have allowed me to lock with strong passwords both my computer and phone. To be honest sometimes I still find my old grandmother trying to unlock my Android just because she has seen a fancy notification popping up.
I always felt like this was a severe violation of my privacy: I felt betrayed and like my family was ignoring my need for my personal space. It’s one of the main things that motivated me to go living on my own as soon as I had the opportunity like if I was escaping from their control-freakness.
Bonus: What makes you feel loved?
As a person living the toughness of a long distance relationship, I would say: all what we have gone through together. Looking back and see how many miles we’ve walked together regardless of it being so difficult. Another couple in our shoes would already have given up, instead we’re even stronger together.
And as a Daddy’s little princess, I’ll say: having someone that I’m sure will always be by my side, watching over me no matter what.Sometimes feeling nurtured by his presence and behaviors.
I know I’m so lucky – but sometimes I act like I’m not!
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