The TMI Tuesday prompt for today looks really appropriate for me: my Daddy suffers from occasional erectile dysfunction and I really feel the problem. In my experience, it looks like once a man sees himself suddenly going limp during intercourse and unable to restore his usual hardness at the moment, even if it’s just an occasional défaillance, something in his self confidence has been broken forever. It is definitely a moment he will never forget and that will haunt him months, years after it has happened even if it has been just once.
I think mainstream porn plays a role in this. We are so used to see perfect male models with HUGE, hard rock tools, that men over time start to consider this a standard. If you do not always meet this standard, a little part of you feels inadequate and suddenly old, no more attractive or interesting to a partner. I think a great resource about how porn influences our relationship with our own bodies is The Porn Conversation, a no-profit project by Erika Lust, the famous feminist pornographer behind XConfessions, that is meant for parents to educate kids about adult material on the Internet, but it’s worth a read even for grown ups!
And the more a guy feels inadequate because of his dèfaillance, the more his penis refuses to respond. You see, apart from physical issues or illnesses that could be the cause, the psychological side plays a big role here. However, the prompt of today asks for remedies to keep hard and I’m gonna tell you the ones that work for me and my Daddy:
Wear a cock ring. It’s so simple but we found this can really be helpful: we prefer stretchy ones because we find they fit perfectly at the base of his shaft even when he’s not fully erect. The more rigid ones are more likely to slip off if his willy is not at its top shape.
Relax. The more he thinks about the problem the worst it becomes (literally) so the best thing to do is to simply focus on something other when a performance issue comes up in the bedroom. Relaxing with a scented massage oil, laughing after a ridiculously funny sex toy, watching the porn parody of his favorite TV series, are our favorite solutions to take time and still have a sexy time together while waiting for a better moment to attempt at actual intercourse.
Try a penis pump. I thought the classic ones that work with a vacuum chamber only were novelty items of the past, but when we could try one, I had to regret not having done it before! Ours simply brings to the penis that little extra blood flow that is enough to have a worry-free sex session, and then after use everything comes back to normal. I am not sure how a pump will work for penis enlargement as this was not our goal and we never tried to use it regularly.
I also know Hot Octopuss makes beautifully designed sex toys targeted at disabled people and penis owners with erectile dysfunction: guybrators you can use even when you’re flaccid. We’ve not yet tried them but we think feeling that you are still able to have pleasure despite your ED can be very empowering. Then, browsing through the brand’s blog is heart warming because of how much they’re devoted to make sex pleasurable for everyone despite of their physical condition.Then, the best advice we can give to our readers is: a laughter a day keeps the Viagra away. In other words: never worry too much if a midway letdown happens, do not make the mistake to feel less attractive or inadequate because of it and, if it doesn’t go away with the remedies above, check your doctor without feeling ashamed. Positivity is the key!
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