Why Male Sex Toys Are Still A Taboo: The Myth Of The Lonely Wanker

The female vibrator, with the new sex positivity wave of last years, has officially come out of the old dark, seedy sex shops: high quality brands are producing real masterpieces of design that happen to be also effective instruments for female pleasure. Clitoris is no more an unknown word and we are encouraged to finally discover our bodies by sex positive, female oriented toy companies, by feminist web sites and magazines and by female pornographers, writers, sexologists.

How can we blame their advice? Masturbation is healthy for our bodies and for our sex life: it relieves stress, helps us to know our intimate parts better and to discover how we like to be stimulated, with great benefits for sex with a partner. I think the work of these great women who fighted to finally downsize the taboo of female self-love is a huge milestone achieved, even if you will notice I am saying "downsized" instead of "completely eradicated". For this second achievement who knows how many years it will take, and how much courage and work from strong, sex positive women.

Couple sex toys too have reached high level of technology and design: from the sophisticated lovers' cock ring to the high-end couples vibrator: nothing anymore screams "dirty" or "vulgar".

But I wouldn't feel like saying the same thing about male sex toys. I'm not saying that on the market aren't available sophisticated male toys with gorgeous design or high tech, obviously. Companies are going the extra mile to provide great toys for the male pleasure: they today use realistic materials that really look and feel like human skin, target vibrations specifically to the male body's most erogenous areas and the new frontier of VR porn is to mention, too. Also, anal sex is less perceived as a taboo and most high quality brands make prostate vibrators capable of giving strong orgasms to a guy.

Photo concessed with a CC0 Creative Commons License

Still, I feel like from the consumers' perspective a guy with his masturbator in hand is still a lonely loser, one who cannot find a real pussy to fuck or is too shy or rude to approach real women.

I'm not saying here that the society does not judge a woman who owns a vibrator, of course. They aren't going to congratulate us at all for being this sex positive and open minded, but still, I think a woman bringing a sex toy in her purse is a little more accepted than a guy carrying his "fake pussy" around. Perhaps is the influence from Samantha Jones from Sex and The City to blame: she put our favourite rabbit vibrator on a mainstream TV series and we know, every thing that appears on TV is better than the ones that don't, at least to the eyes of most people.

If I buy a beautiful, high tech masturbator as a gift for my Daddy Dom it isn't because he's lonely and unable to have actual sex with a woman: unless of course I suddenly discover I don't exist :)

This is my favorite kind of gift for him because I actually love seeing him play with his new toy for my voyeuristic arousal. When he's alone, I like that he thinks of me while using my gift(or better, he fantasizes who knows what about me and that's intriguing!) and at the same time I'm happy he takes a well-deserved break from work related stress.

I think sex toys are good for our sex lives regardless of gender and relationship status. More sex toys for everyone, please!

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